The Mistake
by angel007
Summary: [RuHana][Rated T for Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 Rated M for Chapter 3 but nothing graphic. However, highly suggestive adult theme] Everyone lives in quiet desperation. This is the beginning. A mistake cannot be rectified. [Complete]
1. Chapter 1

At Kanagawa's train station, four pairs of eyes are watching their friend cautiously. The Sakuragi gundan are around the self-proclaim genius in basketball who has not spoken any word since they left the redhead's house. Yohei even tried bringing up Rukawa's name in one of their conversation, saying that even though Hanamichi's rehabilitation is over doesn't mean he can beat Rukawa in basketball. The gundan was bracing themselves for the inevitable head butt but none came. Sakuragi just continued walking as if not hearing them.

The ride to Shohoku high is also uneventful. The four of them are chatting animatedly but Sakuragi is slumped on the seat. What worries the gundan more is that Sakuragi, of all people, is reading their Physics book! He is perusing it seriously, eyebrows furrow in concentration. Every now and then, Sakuragi will highlight some text and make little notes on the side.

"This is serious," Okusu whispers to his friends.

"This is scary, man!" Noma exclaims.

The gundan looks at Sakuragi who is still immersed in the book. The gundan shivers involuntarily at the image Sakuragi is projecting. All four imagined a grown-up Sakuragi, with thick eyeglasses and wearing a labcoat. The thought make them all green in disgust.

Sakuragi just keep on reading, unaware that his four friends are already planning to call a witch doctor to purge him of any evil spirits that are lurking in his soul.

Finally, the train stops and the five quietly alight from the train. Walking towards their school, the gundan is about 6 steps behind Sakuragi, secretly plotting on how to cure their red-headed friend. They are so busy they haven't noticed that Sakuragi stop right in front of the school gate and turn around to face them.

The gundan obviously bumps into Sakuragi. They all look up to find the redhead darkly staring at them. In a split second, all four are flat on the ground, red lumps protruding on their foreheads.

"What do you mean I can't beat Rukawa!" says Sakuragi indignantly as he turns on his heels and enters the campus in a huff.

Twitching and foreheads hurting, the four smile inspite of the pain. "Well, at least he talked to us," Takamiya says weakly, still reeling from the pain of Sakuragi's powerful skull.

* * *

"_We found a spinal fracture in your latest x-ray."_

"_Is it bad? Can I…you know…?"_

"_In terms of going back to your regular schedule, you have nothing to worry about. Your rehabilitation program is successful. We have strengthened the muscles in the area where you got injured. It's just that..."_

"…_And that's good, right? I can go back to basketball, now?"_

"_Mr. Sakuragi…the fracture is repairable. There are good doctors in the country who can do invasive surgery on your spine and fix it."_

"_Wa – wait. I don't under – "_

"_It's a very small hairline fracture. You can actually function normally without surgery. But since you're a basketball player, it's a prerogative that you should undergo this treatment."_

"_But you said I'm okay?"_

"_Sports related injury can be…unstable; back injuries, more so. Intensive sports such as basketball tend to overwork the major muscle groups in the body. I'm afraid that if you just go back to your training without fixing that fracture…"_

"_My life as a basketball player is over…right?"_

"…_Yes. And it could be worse."_

"_How much?"_

"_It's expensive. The surgery alone could cost a few thousand dollars. Of course, you have to go to rehabilitation again. It's not going to be cheap, Mr. Sakuragi but it's the option you have to take if you want to go back to playing basketball."_

"_We don't have that kind of money."_

"_..."_

"_My basketball days are over, huh?"_

"_I'm sorry."_

"Sakuragi."

Sakuragi looks up from his desk and finds his teacher looking down at him. He notices that there is paper thrusted in front of him. It is his test paper and from the smile given to him by his teacher, Sakuragi knows he pass their test. Again. For the third time.

He hears his teacher softly congratulating him for a job well done again before distributing the papers to the rest of his class. Sakuragi tucks away his test paper haphazardly on his bag and looks out the window. From where he is seated, Sakuragi could see the basketball gym. He looks at it wistfully, knowing that he would not be able to play basketball anymore. Tracing the word 'tensai' he carved on his desk last year, he wonders whether that still applies to him. Because right now, that word mocks him.

The bell rings signaling the end of the class. Sakuragi gathers his bag and prepares to walk out of the room when his teacher calls his attention.

"Sakuragi!"

"Yes, Yamato-sensei?"

"Congratulations on passing the test again. Not as high as the first two but still! A B is more than acceptable!"

Sakuragi cackles loudly, which scares the teacher a bit. "Because I'm a genius!"

Yamato-sensei chuckles at his student's antics. "Yes, well, your first year teachers don't think so."

Sakuragi face-faults; his face becoming redder by the minute. He gives a weak laugh because his teacher knows his marvelous academic history.

"Come now! There's no need to be shy! I think it's marvelous that you're picking up with your studies," Yamato beams proudly at Sakuragi's academic 180 degrees. "I hope you can continue this streak, Sakuragi. The Winter Interhigh Tournament is around the corner. Everyone expects that Shohoku will enter it," Yamato hints.

At this point, the mirth in Sakuragi's face disappears. Yamato worries whether he said something wrong, noting how fast Sakuragi became crestfallen. But even before he can apologize, Sakuragi smiles brightly at him.

"Don't worry! I'll tell them, Yamato-sensei!"

Then, Sakuragi excuses himself and says that he needs to go to his next class. Yamato watches as Sakuragi hastily went out of the room as if stung. He senses that something is not right with the boy but he shrugs it off. "Probably, pre-game jitters."

* * *

But Sakuragi did not go to his next class. Or the one after that. For two whole hours, he stayed at the school's rooftop, eyeing the gym intently. Thinking that he was still smarting from their little joke earlier, the gundan left him alone with his thoughts. Sakuragi's always LOUD. It's rather hard to miss someone with flaming red hair and shrill voice. So when Sakuragi turns quiet, the gundan knows better than to mess with their friend.

Sakuragi hears the clock strikes four. He stands up from his position and thinks, "_It's time."_ Dusting himself, he walks towards the metal railing and looks over it. From his vantage point, he can see some basketball members already approaching the gym. Mostly first years who got inspired after their miraculous stint in the Summer Interhigh. Was he that carefree too? The wind carries their faint laughter and he cannot help but be irritated a bit.

His hand moves down on his pocket and clenches a piece of paper there. That paper would end everything he worked hard for. After he gives that, it would be final. No more basketball.

Something wet hits his cheek. And another. The raindrops turn into a steady downpour. Sakuragi laughs bitterly at the cruel joke heaven played on him. "Rain, huh? Fucking metaphorical."

Gathering his bag and with one last glance at the gym, Sakuragi slowly walks out of the rooftop to finally bid adieu to his life.

* * *

"Hey, when do you suppose Sakuragi will be back?"

Ryota's question is met by an impassive shrug. Rukawa continues with his footwork exercise, eyes focus on nothing in particular. Ryota seethes with anger. "Damn. So unfriendly," he mutters as he continues to supervise the team's practice.

It has been one month since the school term starts and two weeks since the basketball team starts practicing for the upcoming Winter IH. Although no one admits it, the team lacks dynamic without Sakuragi. The fiery red head brings spirit to the team and practice is always boring without him.

Mitsui, who is listening on the semi-conversation, answers for Rukawa. "Tch. Back injury's dangerous. We don't want to force him and do something he'll regret."

"You mean, like what you did to us?" Ryota smirks.

"Shut up, shortie! No one asks for your opinion!" Mitsui shots back, blushing because the current captain hits a sore spot. Laughter rings inside the gym and practice commences without further arguments.

A few minutes before Coach Anzai formally dismisses the team, the door of the gym suddenly opens. Sakuragi walks in the room, his wet clothes clinging to his body, his hair falling on his face. The whole gym falls silent as they wait for Sakuragi's next move. Even Ryota can't find the energy to berate Sakuragi.

Feeling everyone's eyes on him, Sakuragi bows respectfully towards the slack jawed team. "Sorry, sorry," he apologizes, "I just have to give Coach Anzai something."

With that, Sakuragi strides towards their coach. The team parts to give way to Sakuragi and a few of them whisper among themselves at Sakuragi's strange behavior. Ayako catches Haruko eyes and quirks her eyebrow asking the other girl a silent question. Haruko feebly shooks her head and shrugs her shoulder. She too is lost.

The team watches as Sakuragi hands a piece of paper to their coach. They see their Coach reading the paper and looking up sharply at Sakuragi. Bowing down once more, Sakuragi gesticulates animatedly to explain something to their Coach. He scratches the back of his nape and hangs his head almost in regret. Coach Anzai puts his hand on Sakuragi's shoulder and smiles sadly at the young man. The team can't hear what the two are saying.

"You'll tell them, won't you?" Sakuragi pleads. "Old man…"

Anzai feels a pain in his heart as he gazes at Sakuragi's forlorn expression. He squeezes the young man's shoulder. "Sakuragi-kun, it was a privilege."

The two face the questioning looks of the whole team. Sakuragi gives them a small grin before bowing once again and walking out the door, all eyes following him. He does not want to wait when the old man announces his resignation from the basketball team. Before he shuts the door, he hears Coach Anzai clearing his throat and gathering the team.

Outside in the rain once more, Sakuragi finally allows himself to shed tears. A small sob racks his body which dissolves into an amused chuckle. It's dark already but he's not going home any time soon because he just left it.

"I wonder if the rooftop's occupied…"

* * *

Sakuragi do not know how long he stayed in the rooftop. A janitor was doing some last check-up and noticed him there slump against the railings. He was kicked out of the place because the building had to be locked up.

"_Kids these days._ _Why aren't you home early? You're parents must be – hey! You! You're Sakuragi, right?"_

"…_yeah."_

"_Oi!_ _I watched you play in the Interhigh! On TV, mind you. Tickets were astronomical!"_

"_I bet."_

"_Oi, oi, oi! That was a good game against Sannoh. Too bad, we didn't win against Aiwa but it was still impressive. Especially you!"_

"_I, uhm...thanks."_

"_How's the back?"_

"_Ok…"_

"_Good, good. Win us the Winter IH, ok? Sakuragi? Good luck!"_

Remembering the janitor's expectant face, Sakuragi is reminded again of what he lost. "Idiot," he says to no one in particular. "Tensai, you better get home now."

Before he reaches the school gate, Sakuragi sees the gym once again. Looking around to see whether there are still people around, he approaches the door gingerly and pushes it open. No one seems to be inside though the lights are on. The janitor usually's the one who turns off all the lights in this place so it never surprises Sakuragi.

Walking around inside the gym, Sakuragi believes he can hear the sound of the ball dribbling on the wooden floor. He fixes his eyes on one corner and smirks. That's where he practiced his basics months ago. What he would give to practice those things he hated! To feel Ayako's fan on his head and even to hear Rukawa's irritating voice; he would do anything to play basketball once more. "It's not fair," Sakuragi whispers.

Sakuragi leans on the wall and slids down on the floor. Cradling his head on his palms, he never notices a figure approaching him.

"Do'aho."

Sakuragi lifts his head up and meets Rukawa's impassive face. He doesn't have the energy to engage in verbal sparring with this man. Avoiding Rukawa's gaze, Sakuragi demands, "What do you want?"

Getting no answer from his ex-team mate, Sakuragi repeats the question with more force this time. "What do you want?"

But Rukawa still won't answer him. "Fine. I might just be interrupting your practice." Sakuragi brushes past Rukawa to leave but he stops on his track.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Sakuragi asks.

"I just am."

Sakuragi snorts derisively and faces Rukawa. Eyes blazing, Sakuragi opens his mouth to unleash hell on the other man but promptly closes it again.

"Forgot what you're supposed to say to me?" Rukawa taunts.

"No," Sakuragi says quietly.

"No?"

"I don't have anything to say, kitsune."

He brushes his hair back in frustration. He wants to be angry at Rukawa because the latter can still play while he… Sakuragi sighs. He holds out his hand to Rukawa. "Good luck. You'll need it."

After what seems like a few minutes, Sakuragi is forced to withdraw his hand. Rukawa does not offer his hand in return to his good gesture. "Have a good life then," Sakuragi growls in annoyance. He has not taken more than two steps when he hears Rukawa's voice.

"Wait."

Sakuragi turns around to face Rukawa.

Suddenly, he is pushed towards the wall, Rukawa's arms stretch out on both sides of his head. He is cornered.

"What the hell? Rukawa, what are you – "

Suddenly, soft lips captured his own. Sakuragi's eyes widen as he realizes what is happening. Rukawa, his sworn rival and enemy, is kissing him fervently! Mustering enough strength, Sakuragi pushes Rukawa away from him.

He wants to hurt Rukawa. He wants to break the guy in half. He wants to make him bleed for what he had done. Rukawa seems to be expecting it. The guy has a surprised look on his face, too. It's like as if he couldn't believe that he just initiated that kiss.

"I –" Rukawa stammers, avoiding his gaze.

"Shut up. I will kill you." Sakuragi threatens. Fist clench, his nails are digging deep into his palms. They are both looking at each other. One with a lost look in his eyes; the other, completely murderous.

Their eyes meet.

Years later, Sakuragi will wonder why instead of killing Rukawa as he promised, he did otherwise.

Chests heaving, the two bridge the distance between them swiftly and their lips meet again in a hungry kiss. Teeths clanging against each other, their tongues intertwining inside their mouths, the resentment they have for each other burns into an unsatiable desire. They stop to catch air, lips swollen from the torrid kiss. Gazing into each other eyes again, they see questions burning there. But no hesitations.

Sakuragi initiates the contact this time. Softly, he kisses Rukawa and the latter responds. They are both inexperienced in this area but their passion is guiding them. They end up inside the locker room, groping each other eagerly on the way there. They bump harshly on lockers and benches but both don't care. They are already lost in their world. Articles of clothing are almost torn off their bodies to feel each other's nakedness immediately. A bite there, a sensuous touch here, both men are enraptured in a blissful rhapsody. They do not call out each other's name when they reach ecstasy but merely collapse together.

There are no cuddlings afterward; neither do light, reassuring kisses are given. The two lie side by side quietly. They know something bigger than sex had happened. It scares both of them. A mistake has been made. The universal order has been destroyed. Sakuragi feels a heaviness weighing down on his heart. He can hear Rukawa's sharp intake of breath; he feels Rukawa's body heat radiating towards his. To his horror, a carnal excitement is rising within him.

Without looking back, Sakuragi swiftly puts on his clothes and moves out of the room. He pauses momentarily at the locker room's door.

"Sakuragi…"

Frightened by what is hidden in Rukawa's voice, Sakuragi runs out of the gym, leaving Rukawa still heaving and naked on the floor.

When he's sure Sakuragi's gone, Rukawa looks down on his body. He sees a red bruise forming on his left shoulder. Teeth marks. Evidence of their passion – no, lust.

Rukawa hits his head repeatedly on the cool, tiled floor.


	2. Chapter 2

The silence in the room was broken by an incessant phone ring. All eyes were directed at the sheepish redhead who was quickly getting out of the room after mumbling a quick apology to the class and the teacher. Normalcy settled into the interrupted class again once the cause of distraction was out.

"Hi, mom."

Sakuragi leaned on the wall as he talked to his mother. He waved absent mindedly at some of his acquaintances who were walking by the corridor.

"Yeah, yeah, I received it. Thanks."

The man broke into a guffaw over what his mother said on the other line. Those who were passing by the hall looked at him curiously but they themselves broke into small smiles at Sakuragi's infectious laughter.

"She gave you that? Why would she – Oh…she definitely mixed up our gifts. That explains the scarf I received in Christmas and why she's always asking me about you!"

Sakuragi brushed back stray bangs that fell in his eyes. He checked his watch and found that he was talking to his mother for five minutes already.

"Ok, mom. I gotta go, still have class. Yeah, thanks again. Love you."

The phone was set into silent before Sakuragi tucked the phone back into his pocket. He slowly opened the door and quietly returned to his seat. His professor, however, saw it fit to reprimand him a bit for the disturbance earlier.

"Mr. Sakuragi, next time please turn your phone off or set it to silent. I'm sure no one here wanted to be reminded about the Macarena."

While the whole class laughed, Sakuragi had the decency to blush.

* * *

After class, Sakuragi hurried to a popular coffee shop outside the university. He promised someone that he'll meet her there.

On his way to the meeting place, he passed by a newspaper stand and saw a particular magazine there. He saw a very familiar face on its cover. The man in the picture was staring at him; steel blue eyes still impassive; lips turned up a bit in what could pass for a smile; pale skin glistening with sweat; unruly black hair swept sideways.

Sakuragi's heart felt a familiar ache.

"Hey, can I have this? How much?"

* * *

A pair of blue eyes was crinkled in self-conscious happiness. Boisterous laughter was spilling out from such a dainty mouth.

"Oh, god! I prayed your mom would never tell you!"

Sakuragi watched her as she tried to control the laughter that was racking her body. He looked as she tightens the ribbon that came undone around her black hair. She sipped from her drink and daintily dabbed her mouth with tissues to remove a non-existent speck of food on her flawless creamy skin. She noticed him staring so he smiled at her.

"White boxers with red hearts?"

She stuck her tongue out at him before responding. "Hey, it was very difficult to find that. I was so mortified when I found out that I switched your gift with your mother!" she nearly screamed. "And here I thought I might see you wear that one day…" A mischievous grin crept into her face at the last sentence. Sakuragi got the idea and returned the naughtiness in her voice.

"What's the point of wearing that when you much want to see me without it?"

A bemused smile graced her lips. She leaned over the table and claimed Sakuragi's lips with her own. Inspite of the crowded place, Sakuragi faintly moan on her lips. She sat back down with a self-satisfied smirk. "True, true…"

Her eyes scanned the table and found the magazine that Sakuragi brought earlier. "Hey, isn't that Rukawa Kaede?"

Sakuragi felt a weight dropped down on his heart. "Yes," Sakuragi's terse reply.

"He's your teammate in high school, right? Saw you two played in the Interhigh," she said as she flipped the pages to Rukawa's section.

A grunt was the only thing heard from Sakuragi.

"Says here he's going to play for the NBA. Baby, did you know this?"

She noticed that Sakuragi's face was getting darker. She finally remembered. Reaching out to him, she apologized, "Oh, baby…I'm so sorry. I forgot."

She took his hand and cupped it on her cheek. He gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I can see it. You want to play basketball again, right? But your back…"

"_I'm leaving tomorrow for America."_

_That's the first time they had a conversation after their little tryst. Despite the non-surprised announcement, Sakuragi willed himself not to look at his bedmate. _

"_I'm going to play college basketball there."_

_Sakuragi clutched the bed sheet to control his slight trembling. Rukawa was silent. Sakuragi opened his mouth to speak._

"_Ok."_

_He felt the bed moved. Seconds later, Rukawa's face was looming over his. Sakuragi drew his face towards him until they were so closed. Hot breaths were mingling with each other. Lips came into contact. Bodies were pressed together. The bed sheet slowly fell to the floor. _

Somehow, she completely missed the point.

"Don't worry, baby. Even if he got the ball, you're in the best university in Japan – Tokyo University!"

Sakuragi could not help but laughed at her childish antics. However, he's still hurting inside. But she did not need to know that.

"Ok, ok. I'm better than him!"

"You know what's better?" she whispered in his ear.

Feigning ignorance, he indulged her evil scheme. "What?"

"Why not get out of the boxers you're wearing now?"

* * *

Faint sounds of rushing water were heard in the small, cramped room. Inside the bath room, Sakuragi was dousing his face with the cold liquid. He looked at the mirror and saw beads of water dropping of his chin. Brown eyes were staring back at him.

_Blue eyes searching his face for something intangible._

Sakuragi leaned his head on the mirror, shivering a bit on the coldness of its surface. He's doing something wrong and the picture was a reminder of it. He wiped off the sweat that was building on his brows.

_Calloused hands wandering over his body. _

His heart was beating fast. Blood was pounding on his ear. Dizziness was rushing on his head. His mouth was getting parched.

_Lips trailing fire from his mouth downward. _

Sakuragi took deep breaths to control the pounding of his heart. It finally settled on to its normal pace. Pushing himself off the mirror, Sakuragi wiped the fog that accumulated there. He could see faint scratches on his chest and on his shoulders. He bet something similar was on his back, too.

_Bodies shaking after each release. No noise was ever made after they were done. Questions were building up and they could not do anything about it. _

He stepped out of the bathroom and walked towards the sleeping form of his girlfriend. He went near the bed and just looked at her. He sat beside her gingerly to not wake her up. Brushing her hair away from her face, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. A small sigh escaped his lips.

He often wondered if something's wrong with him. He had the company of an exceptional woman and yet, that's not enough to forget a blue-eyed man in a foreign land. Gazing at her, he knew that he picked someone that was so similar to Rukawa. How can two people look utterly the same but be totally complete opposite? She was everything he saw in the other guy except that nothing's the same. He belonged to her but Rukawa owned him.

Was he cursed? Was he ga-? No. Sakuragi was pretty sure he wasn't. Rukawa's the only one. No other man came after him.

Rukawa. They never talked about what to call their screwed-up relationship – if ever you can call that a relationship. No one knew that something was going on between them. No one guessed that many nights had been spent with them locked up in bed. But when they're alone each time, Sakuragi believed that they're making a grave mistake. That somehow, he wasn't supposed to be with Rukawa. But his touch and kisses made Sakuragi forgot.

When he left, there were no goodbyes. So many things were left undefined. Him and him. What were they? Why did they do things with each other when no one's looking? Questions were left hanging in the air and guilt settled into Sakuragi's heart. It never went away.

"Hanamichi…come back to bed."

As he slid between the cover - her head under his chin, his arm over her body, her leg on top of his - the guilt intensified. It always did when he's with her because he's committing a reprehensible sin.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. She did not hear the tender apology.

Why were people inclined to cover up their mistake with another? Sakuragi wondered.


	3. Chapter 3

Sakuragi Hanamichi woke up pressed to a hard body beside him. Soft stream of sunlight filtered through his window, slightly blinding his still unfocused eyes. He blinked once, twice to adjust his vision and gave up altogether. Closing his eyes, he felt the man beside him moved and slung an arm around his torso. Almost instinctively, Sakuragi scooted closer to press himself to the sleeping Rukawa Kaede.

What happened the night before was something Sakuragi did not expect to happen again. Six months ago, Rukawa returned to Japan to be treated for a basketball-related injury. The bastard managed to get into the NBA. He was no Yao Ming but Rukawa was skilled enough to earn an important place in his team. He got what he dreamed of and the former Shohoku basketball teammates celebrated and tracked Rukawa's career. It's been ten years since they last saw Rukawa and the opportunity presented itself for the former teammates to meet up.

No one in the team knew that there was something going on between Sakuragi and Rukawa. They were awkward around each other. Their former teammates suspected that their fierce competition before mellowed out to give way to awkwardness. They couldn't be farther from the truth. Sakuragi was not sure now who made the first move to invite whom for a simple lunch but it went downhill from there. No, they didn't fuck the first time they were alone; or the days after that. In a weird way, they got to know each other better in the past six months than those years that they were teammates. But there was something simmering beneath the surface. And the more they learned about each other, the more it built up. It was only a matter of time before the bubble burst. Last night.

Sakuragi would like to attribute the sex to being drunk. But they weren't. They were stone-cold sober. They took it slow, so very slow. Their kisses were languid, their hands slowly mapping each other's body, teasing as it traced every exposed and unexposed skin. Rukawa whispered, "Bed," and let Sakuragi led him towards the bedroom. They stood at the end of the bed maybe for a few seconds but Sakuragi felt that time stopped then and there. They were just looking at each other and still so many questions hanging between them. But there were no doubts in Rukawa's eyes. Sakuragi remembered the wanton desire burning he saw in the other man as he undressed in front of Sakuragi. Rukawa was leaving himself opened. Sakuragi closed the distance between them and they fell to the bed. There were no missteps in their movements.

When they climaxed, Sakuragi's name was on Rukawa's lips and Sakuragi was soothing with his tongue the bite marks he left on Rukawa's shoulders. They fell asleep after that, the blanket drawn up to their chins, Rukawa's head resting on Sakuragi's chest, Sakuragi's arm around Rukawa.

In the early light of morning, the vivid memories of last night came flooding back to Sakuragi. There was that feeling again that somehow there was something wrong with what they did.

Sakuragi felt Rukawa's eyelashes fluttered, signaling that the other man was waking up. An involuntary shudder coursed through him when Rukawa placed open mouth kisses on his neck. Rukawa's lips left a burning trail on his neck until his lips found Sakuragi's. Rukawa tasted like come and early morning and it shouldn't excite Sakuragi but it definitely did. The other man shifted until he was on top of Sakuragi, every inch of their skin pressed together, mouths working against each other, Rukawa's fingers threading softly through Sakuragi's hair. When he pulled away, Sakuragi could see a thin trail of saliva connecting their lips and he felt a small stab somewhere. Perhaps sensing the tempestuous thoughts running in Sakuragi's mind, Rukawa softly brushed his thumb against Sakuragi's cheekbones.

"Hey," Rukawa said, "Isn't it a little early for you to be in deep thoughts?"

Sakuragi looked into Rukawa's eyes and felt a gnawing fear eating through him. He looked away and made a motion to get up from the bed but Rukawa pinned him in place with his body. Sakuragi opened his mouth to protest but Rukawa took the opportunity to kiss him again. This kiss was fierce but not brutal, as if Rukawa was trying to prove a point. Sakuragi was not responding at first but Rukawa was persistent. He was nipping Sakuragi's bottom lip and chasing the tiny pain with his tongue until Sakuragi finally gave him entrance.

Rukawa didn't stop kissing him until Sakuragi rested his hand on Rukawa's back to draw the man closer. Pressing their foreheads together, Rukawa's every words brushed against his lips.

"What are you thinking?" Rukawa asked softly.

"That you're going to leave…"

Rukawa flinched at the unspoken _me_ in Sakuragi's reply.

"I, ah…" Sakuragi laughed softly, "I always have the sense that you're bound to move away."

Rukawa cupped Sakuragi's face and forced him to look. He tried to open his mouth to say something – anything – but found that he couldn't soothe away Sakuragi's fears with his words. Sakuragi reached for the hand that was cupping his face and tangled his fingers with Rukawa's.

"How can this be so right?" Sakuragi finally asked.

Rukawa swallowed and kissed him lightly.

"I'm right here. I'm right here," Rukawa repeatedly whispered in between kisses. "You have to believe me. I'm right here."

Sakuragi weighed the sincerity in Rukawa's voice. He gave him a tiny nod in response. Their lips met in a hungry kiss, Rukawa mapping Sakuragi's body with his deft hands and carving unspoken promise against skin.

Two years from now, Rukawa will quit basketball and settle back to Japan. Sakuragi will be waiting for him. But right here, in this bed, in the early embrace of morning, their bodies moving as one, they remained unknowing of the future.

"Don't go."

"Ok."


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: What a ride! I started this fanfic two years ago and it took me two years just to finish the last chapter. _Slam Dunk_ will always remain special to me as I consider Rukawa and Sakuragi my first slash couple. But I am not as attached to the series as I once was before so I must bid goodbye to it. This will be my last fanfiction for _Slam Dunk_ and while I am not quite satisfied on how it turned out, I always plan for Sakuragi and Rukawa to be together. However, waning interest had made me less focused on details and it became a burden that I must finish for ending sake. I am hoping that you still enjoy the ride. Thank you so much.


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